Our Lovely Birth Story

This is the story of the birth of our daughter on April 27th. A more medically complete account exists in a note on Facebook, but I wanted to post this story here with some photos. Enjoy!

My water broke at about 2:20 am, after some really mild contractions for maybe half an hour or so. I called our midwife Louisa, and went back to bed, but didn't sleep much as contractions continued sporadically and built up toward the morning. While having a little breakfast, Kevin called his parents, and we got in touch with both of his brothers; Connie and Rory planned to be there and arrived early afternoon. My brother Matt left for school and other brother Michael was on his way home. My dad, unfortunately, was out on his only trip for the three weeks surrounding the due date and was stuck in Orange County. He made it home a few hours after the birth wrapped up. My mom was right there with us all along and busied herself with a final clean up, getting me anything I needed, cutting up fruit for snacking on, being generally an amazing grandmother. Lastly, aunt Tara and my 5 year old cousin Iris came over for a few hours in the morning, with flowers and snacks and hugs of encouragement.

We had a bunch of family surrounding us, which I had really wanted, but all the activity kind of slowed down my early labor. It was a good trade-off, though, I thought, to have the family support present even if it added a couple hours to the labor. Louisa and her assistant Christina arrived a little ahead of noon and started tracking my vitals, contractions, and everything. I had a heplock put in for IV antibiotics. I used a birth ball and really found that helpful for back labor, as well as counter pressure. We eventually put a towel in the floor of the shower so I could be on my knees leaning into the ball with hot water on my lower back.

When we moved toward pushing, I spent some time on the bed, still leaning over the ball, and Louisa, birth assistant Christina, Kevin, and my mom were standing all around massaging me from four corners- awesome. Then, apparently, I pushed for about an hour on the toilet. I was surprised when Louisa said it had been that long; of course it felt like it was dragging on FOREVER, but I was so far in labor land I don't really remember anything. That's not exactly true. I remember flashes of images, and feeling everything in my abdomen trying to shift downward with each contraction. Pushing became really effective and I moved into the main room, where I actually delivered the baby on my hands and knees on the floor.

The two grandmothers ended up exclaiming a gender announcement ("It's a...." "Girl!!!") as I rocked back and scooped her up- Kevin was super supportive and wonderful all the way through but became pretty deer-in-headlights at this moment. Time kind of stopped and my sense of the world expanded back out of my body. Eventually he did announce her name: Edythe Irene Connally. 

So that's the birth. Kevin cut the cord and the whole birth process was just shy of nineteen hours, start to finish. When stuff kind of settled down and Edie and I were a bit wiped up, Kevin read a blessing written by st. Patrick and his dad prayed a thanksgiving/blessing, which was really meaningful for us. Both grandmothers, one grandfather, and two uncles were present, as well as Louisa, Christina, and Julie, the RN midwife from class. A splash of wine was passed around to toast. The baby's measurements were taken and we were both checked over for vitals.

Then came the only drama part: I tried getting in the shower. The heat was the last straw I guess, on top of reasonably solid blood loss and anemia, and I passed out a bit. I had a really weird dream that was like a commercial that I couldn't understand what to buy. So we did some oxygen via mask, a catheter, and two IV bags with another dose of pitocin to wrap everything up. I was shaking pretty hard with adrenalin but emotionally felt stable. I'd rather have the complication after the birth than during... so poor Louisa slept on the weird little chair in our room for a few hours until I was completely stabilized.

I was so happy with the decisions we made, and feel super blessed that no complications arose to change the plan. Our family is settling into the baby routine pretty well, and while nights are kind of long, I actually feel fairly high energy during the day. A lovely birth, a supportive community of family and les sages femmes, and a gorgeous, happy baby!

Ninth Month

Two days from now, the baby will be full-term and officially invited to come any time it wants. First babies tend towards later, rather than early, and we certainly don't have a history of early on my side of the family, so I Could go into labor next week... but I won't. That is my psychologically stable self-talk.

The exact mechanism of what starts labor is not fully understood by Science. Science is notoriously good at offering a few impressive explanations on a surface level, and becoming enmeshed in unmeasurable and existential unknowns as the questions tighten in relevancy. That aside, it is generally accepted that the baby initiates the labor process by communicating with the placenta, it's advocate and ally throughout pregnancy. It's pretty phenomenal how it all fits together, really: a specific protein is produced by the infant lungs when they hit the developmental maturity to make the amniotic fluid to air transition. Anyway that's how it worked with mice at the University of Texas in 2004. Mice gestate for 19 days, compared to my projected 280 days. I anticipate that the complexity of mouse birth to human birth reflects that ratio, but I like the idea that the baby will let me know when it's good and ready. Like most westerners, I am somewhat reassured by a rationale, a Knowledge that diffuses the otherwise arbitrary, uncertain mysteries of Life. 

Beyond contemplating such mysteries, the pregnancy is going quite well. My catchphrase has become, "I don't love pregnancy, but expecting has been wonderful." We are delighted to be so close to meeting the baby, and I have a huge sense of relief at the promise that no pregnancy can go on forever. As for the baby, we still get tremendous activity. I think the little one is awake quite a bit more these days, and certainly is much stronger. Over the last few weeks, I notice he/she seems pretty curious, stroking or jabbing at anything that comes into contact with my huge abdomen. First "bad mom moment:" calling my kid butt head when it nailed me against the dining table. Probably hurt its own knee as badly as it hurt me. Yes, I admire the efficiency of pregnancy and relative cleanliness of this form of parenthood, but I feel like changing diapers and nursing are actually a pretty fair trade-off for being able to evict the little camper off my bladder and esophagus when it's important. Parents of outside children just laugh here, "How little do they know... ha ha!" But seriously.

I've been motivated to read and research all these pregnancy related questions, and I feel about as prepared as they come for labor and birth. For me, a deep comprehension of the whole process is so important, and I am pretty relaxed about the outcome because the variables aren't unexplored. I have a lot of trust in everyone involved- Jesus, my family, my husband, my midwife, my baby, and myself. I say this because people keep asking if I'm getting nervous, especially since we are planning an unmedicated, natural home birth. Honestly for my personal psychology it would be more disruptive to plan a hospital birth with epidural, because hospitals have nervous energy to me and experimenting with drugs has never been a good experience. No one can tell for sure what my body would do in those conditions. No, I'm not nervous to give birth, and I'm not nervous to give birth at home. I've spent an academic year studying pregnancy and birth, with lots of hands on lab work, and I'm more prepared for this final than any other test in my life. It will be hard, but most people pass one way or the other...

Our next post will probably have baby pictures of our own real baby!

A new blog.

I would like to let everyone know that I have been working on and have lately published another blog on this same site entitled "The Industrial Devolution."  The address is "theindustrialdevolution/blogspot.com."  I hope you all read it and find it beneficial, pass it on to your friends and relations, and come back for more.

Kevin's going to be a daddy!

pregnancy, part 1.

I felt a little funny within the first week, but since it was our first try I attempted to keep myself from reading too much into it. Every weird digestive moment, every clicking hip, every mild headache felt like they could be a sign, but I told myself, "Be realistic. Even if I'm pregnant already, which I probably am not, there is no way that I could tell. I'm at least a week out from even hypothetically maybe getting a positive test." It was a really long week.

Then came the day, neurotically counted out and perfectly timed for maximum pregnancy hormone x minimum  waiting anxiety. I took the test while Kevin was still sleeping, and watched the first line develop. Apparently it was in upside down, because the pregnant line showed up right away but the control line dallied. I'd tried a few times before to take tests where no lines ever showed up at all, and I got irritated at the stupid inefficient quality control system that let so many faulty products get through... then the control line faintly rose to the surface. For a moment I froze, calculating and trying to decide whether I was going to be cool about it.

Who cares about cool! I jumped back onto the bed and woke up my sleepy husband. "You're going to be a daddy," I told him with a big kiss. He hugged me. We hugged. It was freaking totally exciting. 

After daydreaming lazily for a bit about becoming parents, we trooped upstairs and shared the news with my parents. Dad immediately began to refer to my mother as "Grandma," whenever possible. Dad also tells me "Take care of my baby!" and pokes at my abdomen. A few months later when I started showing, dad came home from a business trip and got his first glimpse of the bump; mom says he cried a little. My mom has also been wonderful and supportive, helping me keep track of my responsibilities and encouraging me to make good health choices. 

A few days later, we were able to share the news with Kevin's parents in person, and with Pat and Kim who had their first daughter last Spring. They were naturally excited and we all agreed it will be fun to have the cousins fairly close together. We feel so blessed to have a baby with all the grandparents so close, and although Kevin's brothers' families will make less frequent visits, I think it will be an awesome opportunity to experience other cultures and learn about the world through all the aunts, uncles, and cousins spread far and wide. 

By our anniversary trip in mid-September, I could feel some definite changes and growth. We chose our midwife, Louisa Wales, asked our pertinent questions, and started working on our plans for the home-birth, sleeping arrangements, learning about infant diet, etc.. The nausea came in at six weeks and pretty much pummeled me until the end of the first trimester. Accordingly, I watched documentaries by the dozens. Now I know pretty much everything about sharks, tigers, China, food, coral reefs, pollution, and Ancient Egypt. Somehow, this will all come in handy. When my infant is crying, I will just tell it a story about Queen Nefertiti and the Texas-sized trash island in the Pacific. 

About the thirteenth week, the sickness slacked off significantly and I started working out occasionally, and seeing friends, as well as getting back into my swing of household responsibilities. My bedroom was an unholy mess and all my clothes smelled weird, so the long process of cleaning and organizing finally resumed. Shortly thereafter, I was able to take my mom, aunt, cousin, and grandmother with me to my appointment with Louisa, where we all were able to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was, of course, magical. There was a certain something about greeting the first heartbeat with my whole matriarchy. Iris loved it, but was a little surprised that we weren't able to hear the baby crying. Usually, when she puts her ear to my stomach and listens for the baby, she tells me it's crying. I apparently have a pretty crabby/malcontent child in there. Iris promises to help me rock the new little cousin when he/she comes out, so hopefully that will make him/her feel better.

Just a few weeks ago, I finally started getting those conclusive little wiggles, like a caterpillar schlepping around in my uterus and occasionally throwing a mini-disco. Somehow wiggles make the first trimester all worth it. Some days I love being pregnant, and some days I'm kind of done, but it's been a huge learning process and we can't hardly wait to meet that little caterpillar kid. 

University District Campus, Mars Hill

Mars Hill acquires University Baptist Church building in the University District

The House Above the School

Last night I dreamed:

I was talking to one of my old coworkers from the school in Seattle, and she had been renting a room in a house that was really a school also. She had a bedroom off the hallway, and then the rest of the main level of the house was taken up by school uses. She told me that the whole house was for sale, and she was moving to the midwest somewhere. I was curious about it and went downstairs to a weird cellar area with Kevin and a banker, and we found out that the house was actually selling really cheap, and it turned out that we had enough money in our checking account to buy it right then. We were super excited, and Kevin ran up to look in the window by the door for a visa sticker, so we would know if we should write a check or use the debit card. 

After we had completed the transaction, I sat upstairs and talked to my coworker again. She told me about her plans to move, and about her last vacation, and I told her about the girl who had stayed in the house and been her substitute at the school while she was gone. We reminisced about how strange it was that all these people we knew had already lived there, but that I was going to live in the house now. She got busy with something in the classroom area and I peeked into her room to see what it was like.

Standing in the hallway, I noticed that there were stairs leading up to a top story. I remembered seeing an upstairs window from the street, but I had never been up there for work. So I started up the stairs and when I got to the top, I was amazed. A long, wide hallway of dark wood stretched ahead of me, and natural light flooded in from several rooms off the hall. I walked along, looking into each one, and found beautifully papered bedrooms and offices, some with people in them gathering up their things to leave. The house was sold as is, so I knew all of the furniture would be staying in the rooms. I felt like hyperventilating as I realized that I had already bought the house and all this space came with it. It seemed so strange that such a large, well appointed level stood above the really quite average, slightly grimy ground floor. Finally I came into a room at the end of the hall, and I knew it would be my bedroom. It had green brocade on the walls and a bed in the middle of the room had been crafted to look like a giant birds nest.

I came out the room, and an older woman who appeared to be some kind of district administrator asked me some questions. I thought about using the extra bedrooms upstairs as special studios for the school. The woman explained to me that the tower on the edge of the house was condemned and very unsafe. We stood at a window that looked over the roof toward the tower; it was accessible only by a frail South American-looking suspension bridge. I assured her we would be very careful, and climbed out the window to cross the roof toward the bridge. Kevin and a few other friends climbed out behind me. 

As we approached the bridge and discussed the best way to salvage the tower, I woke up.

Mikey Graduates

Yesterday Mike brought over his diploma! Yay! We are so happy he's finally done with highschool, on time and ready to go. Today we'll be talking about his plans for what to do next. He's working on a deal to move in with a friend this month so hopefully that will go really well for him. Also you should make sure to look up his band, Starfish Rescue Team. They are on myspace: http://www.myspace.com/starfishrescueteam
You can just ignore anything on the page that offends you. The music is pretty fun, but the words don't make any sense. The boys like it like that, apparently. I hope you will enjoy it.