Kevin's going to be a daddy!

pregnancy, part 1.

I felt a little funny within the first week, but since it was our first try I attempted to keep myself from reading too much into it. Every weird digestive moment, every clicking hip, every mild headache felt like they could be a sign, but I told myself, "Be realistic. Even if I'm pregnant already, which I probably am not, there is no way that I could tell. I'm at least a week out from even hypothetically maybe getting a positive test." It was a really long week.

Then came the day, neurotically counted out and perfectly timed for maximum pregnancy hormone x minimum  waiting anxiety. I took the test while Kevin was still sleeping, and watched the first line develop. Apparently it was in upside down, because the pregnant line showed up right away but the control line dallied. I'd tried a few times before to take tests where no lines ever showed up at all, and I got irritated at the stupid inefficient quality control system that let so many faulty products get through... then the control line faintly rose to the surface. For a moment I froze, calculating and trying to decide whether I was going to be cool about it.

Who cares about cool! I jumped back onto the bed and woke up my sleepy husband. "You're going to be a daddy," I told him with a big kiss. He hugged me. We hugged. It was freaking totally exciting. 

After daydreaming lazily for a bit about becoming parents, we trooped upstairs and shared the news with my parents. Dad immediately began to refer to my mother as "Grandma," whenever possible. Dad also tells me "Take care of my baby!" and pokes at my abdomen. A few months later when I started showing, dad came home from a business trip and got his first glimpse of the bump; mom says he cried a little. My mom has also been wonderful and supportive, helping me keep track of my responsibilities and encouraging me to make good health choices. 

A few days later, we were able to share the news with Kevin's parents in person, and with Pat and Kim who had their first daughter last Spring. They were naturally excited and we all agreed it will be fun to have the cousins fairly close together. We feel so blessed to have a baby with all the grandparents so close, and although Kevin's brothers' families will make less frequent visits, I think it will be an awesome opportunity to experience other cultures and learn about the world through all the aunts, uncles, and cousins spread far and wide. 

By our anniversary trip in mid-September, I could feel some definite changes and growth. We chose our midwife, Louisa Wales, asked our pertinent questions, and started working on our plans for the home-birth, sleeping arrangements, learning about infant diet, etc.. The nausea came in at six weeks and pretty much pummeled me until the end of the first trimester. Accordingly, I watched documentaries by the dozens. Now I know pretty much everything about sharks, tigers, China, food, coral reefs, pollution, and Ancient Egypt. Somehow, this will all come in handy. When my infant is crying, I will just tell it a story about Queen Nefertiti and the Texas-sized trash island in the Pacific. 

About the thirteenth week, the sickness slacked off significantly and I started working out occasionally, and seeing friends, as well as getting back into my swing of household responsibilities. My bedroom was an unholy mess and all my clothes smelled weird, so the long process of cleaning and organizing finally resumed. Shortly thereafter, I was able to take my mom, aunt, cousin, and grandmother with me to my appointment with Louisa, where we all were able to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was, of course, magical. There was a certain something about greeting the first heartbeat with my whole matriarchy. Iris loved it, but was a little surprised that we weren't able to hear the baby crying. Usually, when she puts her ear to my stomach and listens for the baby, she tells me it's crying. I apparently have a pretty crabby/malcontent child in there. Iris promises to help me rock the new little cousin when he/she comes out, so hopefully that will make him/her feel better.

Just a few weeks ago, I finally started getting those conclusive little wiggles, like a caterpillar schlepping around in my uterus and occasionally throwing a mini-disco. Somehow wiggles make the first trimester all worth it. Some days I love being pregnant, and some days I'm kind of done, but it's been a huge learning process and we can't hardly wait to meet that little caterpillar kid.